A Child's Love

Yearly we get teary eyed around this time of the year thinking of the great love we have for our moms. I am positive that the love I have for mine is only a fraction of her love for me. How can you top your mom's love, there is jut no way. So if you have tons of money you buy her a sports car like what Manny did for Mommy Dionisia right? If there is one thing I love about Manny (other than being a Filipino and winning all his matches...), its the love he has for his mom. Now that he is lying in a bed of riches, he laid his mom in the same bed of riches. He loves his mom well and he tells the world about it.

Now imagine how his mom feels, she brought Manny into the world for starters, she nurtured him and planted the seeds of dreams and aspirations, she supported him all the way, she can downright claim that she had a significant hand in what Manny has become. She is the only one who knows the champion when he was just a little boy, a teenager, a young man and now a world champion whose billboard for Nike is at a subway in the U.S. Ok so Manny is an over-achiever, it must be because he was well loved by his mom.

If I were as rich as Manny I will do the same thing and make sure that my mom will never need nor want for anything. She will never lift a finger in labor. Because I am pretty sure that the love he got was the same brand of love I had. 

My mom went to all my school affairs, even if parents weren't invited. She bought all my clothes until I can buy my own. She threw my birthday party every year till she could not do it anymore because of her illness. I lived with her to the ripe age of 31 and never once thought of living any other way.When she was still around I'd always kid her that even if she threw me out I won't leave because no one else is capable of loving me and taking care of me more than her. 

im crossing that bridge with lessons ive learned

playing with fire but not getting burned

i may not know what you're going through

but time is the space between me and you

life carries on, it goes on

Author: Monie Maunay
email: buddygallagher@gmail.com

 

With Friends Like These...

Imagine this, you have a batch-mate in high school whom you probably exchanged no more than five words with send you an friend invite in one of them social networking sites. You try to place their face from 15-20 years ago and if you fail you check which friends you have in common. You see a fairly good number of common friends so you go right ahead and click the accept button. Instantly you get a blow-by-blow account of how their life is going, you get heaps of notifications requesting you to be their neighbor and worse, you get tagged in ugly photographs of you that you never even knew existed!

If you are not cyber-phobic you probably do not have a method to accepting friend requests and if you are not cyber-savvy then you are in for a rude awakening -- that you cannot immediately undo that simple act of accepting a friend request from a non-friend. You can thank the developers over at that social networking site you signed up to for installing a sometimes intricate set of functions to undo what you’ve done (unfriend, block, hide, unsubscribe...). They do have a confusing function that will allow you to categorize the texture of your relationship with your online friends. Little by little you get to filter every aspect of your account and by doing so you finally enjoy the experience. But not before all your friends have seen what you do not want seen...

Last time I checked I had 800 plus friends half of which I probably do not know from Adam. These days when I log on to my Facebook account my first act is to either hide or unsubscribe from people I do not really know nor care to know. That is because I have not figured out completely how to filter my friendships properly (and I’ve had the account since 2008 I think). Social networking is indeed a two-edged sword of entertainment and frustration. 

Author: Monie Maunay
email: buddygallagher@gmail.com

Sisterhood

Being a sister or having one becomes an important role or disposition in one’s life. Do you notice how people love to call their close friends “sister”. It might have started as part of gay parlance, a way for our gay friends to assert their womanhood. But even girls tend to call their close girl friends their sisters. We use sisters for people who aren’t our sisters more than men use brother for their male friends.

This suggests that being a sister or having one is really a biggie. You share your blood and dna with a real sister but the bond goes much deeper than biology. A sister is an ally by default, a team member playing on your side forever. Sure there are many doomed sisterhoods but only a fool would hold a grudge against her sister for a long time. A sister is a lifeline, your extension and so you cut your life short if you break bonds with your sister.

While you may look alike you will realize soon enough that the likeness is not just skin deep. You understand that you have specific traits that you share with them, same belief system, same philosophies. And if these aren’t the same then you find yourself being more tolerant of your sister than of your friend. My dad always say that you cannot put sibling against each other in sports because they will always have the tendency to give way to the other, even without meaning to. It is this giving feeling that is foremost in a sisterhood. It is almost instinctive, like you did not need to actually say anything but they would always know. Now that is just one sister I’m talking about, imagine the force-field of loving and giving emotions when you have six.

Author: Monie Maunay
email: buddygallagher@gmail.com

The Tears I Cry Aren't Tears of Pain (and the things I say to myself)

I cry at the slightest provocation, I'm your run o' the mill, garden-variety crybaby. Touchy commercials, sad movies, hell I cry at the drama the unfolds live during those "sugod-bahay" segments at Eat Bulaga. I relate a sad story and my eyes well up. It's just how I'm built. I don't see it as a sign of weakness though others may. It is just biological.

Another thing that brings the water works in is when I'm angry and I don't want to be. Anger is the emotion I hate the most (and I seldom use the word hate). When I am so angry, I get angrier at myself for being angry. I guess the only time I feel I should manage myself is when I get mad. When you're angry you get partially blind and deaf. You only see things your way and you only hear the thoughts in your head. That is the road to isolation, self pity and low self esteem. Being the gregarious person that I have am I simply do not wish to waste time wallowing in my grief. There is just so many more things I can occupy my brain with. 

That is why I have trained myself to shun anger, that's not to say though that I don't get angry because I still do. But it is the kind of anger that quickly turns to reason. My heart rate goes slower, my voice grows softer and my words become almost kind if not reasonable. I'd like to think that I have mastered the art of tactful discourse. When I am at my angriest I force my mind to shut out my anger and let reason prevail. I still shed the tension tears, which is the result of my efforts to process my anger. 

I'd be a fool to expect this kind of self-management from anybody, but anyone who wants a fight with me will go home empty handed. I think it is so much better if one party in a battle would just take the default stance of reason. "Don't raise your voice, improve your argument" says Archbishop Desmond Tutu. It could be terribly boring but hey I'm not out here to entertain.

Author: Monie Maunay

email: buddygallagher@gmail.com

 

Dead But Never Gone

One thing that stood out to me in the Harry Potter stories is the idea that nothing can touch Harry because he is protected by his mother's love. His mother who stood in the way to take the deathblow of the enemy intended for him. In the stories that love became a physical shield an almost palpable lining that ran through his skin.

They say if you have been lucky enough to experience abundant love from your parents you increase the chances of turning out to be a basically good person. I think what it does is prepare you for whatever life has to throw at you. Having known unconditional love like that assures you that it exists and that you are capable of giving it just as well. My mother has passed for over a decade now and yet she remains to be a force in my life. When I make a decision I always consider how she would feel about it or how she would decide on it. This is the same with my father. 

My mom's birthday was yesterday the 19th of November and this event brings into focus just how big an influence she is in my life. She's no saint, she can rant and rave all day long, but not being with her for a decade now all I remember are her qualities that I admire most. She did not have a good education but she is the most politically correct (even before these words were coined) person I know. There is not a mean bone in her body, no vulgarity comes out of her mouth. She is also very refined and tasteful, that is saying a lot considering that she lived most of her growing years in the province. It always seemed like she perfectly fits into any place or situation she is in. Many people trusted her to always be fair and above-board. When she gets wind of nasty things said about her she just shrugs it off and waits for the right moment to confront her haters. She listens to people's problems but seldom bothered anyone with hers.

Her love may not be equally distributed (as there are some needing it more than others) but there's no question that she loved us all completely and utterly. Sometimes we disappoint her but she never hated any of us.She doesn't know how to hate.It is no wonder that I can relate to that mother's-love idea in Harry Potter. I know that kind of love because I have experienced it first-hand, i feel its protection, and so I wish it for everyone else...happy birthday mommy (11/19/36)

Author: Monie Maunay

email: buddygallagher@gmail.com

Tuesday of My Being Sick

Can you believe this is actually an OPM song title? The group is all girls and they call themselves the Chain Gang and they actually have a following, about 2000 people viewed their live performance of the song in you tube (you can check it out if you like, its there i shit you not... hehehe). Anyways, the song is not really that great and I would not go too far as to review its merits (not that I ever could). The title just plain grabbed me the first time I heard it. I just love it. For me it says a thousand things, implies a thousand possibilities. 

Today the song popped into my brain again and only because I have been pretty sick early this week. I've been nursing my coughs since Friday last week and it came to a head last Monday when I completely lost my voice and started to run up a temperature. I was in no shape to work that night so I slept it off then visited the doctor the following day, a Tuesday. He told me to rest for one more day and gave me antibiotics to take along with the cough drugs. One more day to rest and do nothing but get better. The Tuesday of my being sick. After buying my meds I took them and settled myself on the couch to watch television. Although my head felt like a marshmallow got stuck in it, I attempted to actually watch TV, attempted and failed ending up asleep through the rest of the day and the rest of the night as well. Such a waste of time! I would flit in and out of my drug-induced stupor to catch bits and pieces of whatever was on TV. I came full awake at around 4am Wednesday and finally got to concentrate on the TV. 

I had a lot of fun channel surfing. I got to watch a bunch of reality shows in the History Channel including a documentary on the Manila hostage crisis to mark one year since the event which happened in Aug 23. It painted a pretty ugly picture of our government and our police force. I wonder who produced it (too groggy to check the credits). I also watched an episode of "Heavy" a more intense and one-on-one version of the Biggest Loser. Then there's "Relapse" where addicts who cannot recover are helped by sober coaches for a week prior to enrolling to rehab yet again. Both Heavy and Relapse are on the Biography Channel. I also saw "The Craft" in the new channel called "Thrill," plus a lot of celebrity shows on the E! channel.

All in all I felt miserable but at least I got entertained at some point before I got back to the real world to work with real people. 

Author: Monie Maunay
email: buddygallagher@gmail.com

You and What Army?

There are certain times throughout the course of our lives when we get involved in some messy business with our names getting dragged in the mud through no fault of our own. When the only thing left to do to save our own ass is to fight back and get even…yes to go for the jugular.

And not a few times during situations like the one I described above, do we get the whole thing just blow up in our faces. Our grand scheme to get back at someone backfires or bites us in the same ass we tried to save, our ass that is.

I have to say I am a peace loving person. I abhor any form of fighting and the only battles I fight are the ones that I am certain to win. I am now reminded of a line from a Hall and Oates song that goes: "Being too strong is a weakness girl, cuz when you fight the world you know who's gonna win..." The battles I cannot win, I walk away from. Never ashamed to throw in the towel or raise the white flag. More importantly, I am never embarrassed to extend the olive branch.

But what really excites us are the battles we know we're going to win. And whenever I get those, I prepare for it, I lay it down carefully and I savor every last bit of my revenge. Let's say you had a beef with a total loser, someone who has made it their mission to destroy you, to bleed you to break you…someone who has it in for you. Maybe you just rub them the wrong way or maybe you have offended them unwittingly. Maybe you out-shined or upstaged them and instead of fighting fair they start attacking you.

Now some would declare war outright with guns blazing, but some would retreat to regroup before making an exquisite counter-attack. I fancy the latter and I know I can only maneuver my revenge if I am completely clean and faultless in the whole mess. My favorite weapons are silence and kindness . My good friend Jun Co couldn't have described it better when he quoted the Romans, and I mean the bible's book of Romans:

Romans 12:19-21

Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath,

for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord.

On the contrary:

"If your enemy is hungry, feed him;

if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.

In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head."

Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Author: Monie Maunay
email: buddygallagher@gmail.com

that's just me

I am of the opinion that if you lived to be a certain age when you've got a good education under your belt and you are earning your keep then nobody has the right to judge you. To judge the calls you make, the company you keep, and everything else about you from your taste in clothes to the lovers you take. Of course others will always have their opinions but then you got to consider which opinions really count because mostly, opinions don't mean shit.

I'd say you've earned the right to live your life where your accountability is only to your creator (that is if you believe in him). I'd go as far as saying that while you may seek others' for advice or opinion, in the end you are free to do with it as you please.

On the other hand if you have reached the state that I described at the start then you should bear the brunt and all the consequences of your actions. You and you alone are the owner of the results of what you choose and what you allow to happen to you. These notions of choosing and allowing are at the same time heady and scary. Some embrace it with gusto and push it to the limit, blurring lines and boundaries and staking claim on everything.

Others shy away from this kind of freedom though. They are happier when they can be able to say that they have been tricked, cajoled or coerced to do something. They will readily blame all their bad fortune on everything else but themselves. It is the alcohol, its peer pressure, it’s my parents or my partner or the weather or the blasted traffic, but oh no it was not me, it’s never me. Who are they kidding? Unless there is a gun pointed at your head, then everything you do is your own doing. You are responsible for the lives you affect and for your own circumstances. You can cry to the heavens that you did not mean for something to happen but if it does happen then it will be on no one else's head but yours.

But that’s just me…

Author: Monie Maunay
email: buddygallagher@gmail.com

whattup...?

I dream of having a daily blog, 300 or so words about everything and nothing but even I know that would be a very difficult thing to keep up. Every once in a while I hear the voices of my friends in my head telling me that it is time for another one of my cryptic collection of back-stories. Things that have transpired in between the nooks and crannies of our lives need to be re-told lest we forget.

Yes we did witness the very first official cat fight. A pockmark that will mar this beautiful friendship for sure but a great process we are all still smarting from. I guess the really ugly part in the whole sordid mess is the fact that there were so many words being spoken while no one is really talking. Pretty much like shadow-boxing where you do not know who struck you and who you will strike. We were all relieved when it ended. I have said it before and I will say it again: “… the best way to destroy your enemy is to befriend them…” In our case the enemy was destroyed by extending the olive branch and rekindling the friendship. There was collateral damage mind you, do you recall our sweet friend Milo who remained mad at someone on our behalf only to discover that we’re already cool with that someone and he is left alone in his anger, on our behalf? Hahaha… It is just so much easier to lay the bricks down instead of carrying it around with you right?

On other developments, the supposed former queen bee has flown the coop and into that far away land where domestic helps sometimes end up dead. And why ever not! He still has a lot of fight left in him. He will come back victorious of that I doubt not. Now the post of queen bee is up for grabs and so are the grubs she left behind. Another one flew to a nearby place to heal his heart, it may take some healing but he showers us with his brilliant presence over the weekends. Yet another one has taken the road less traveled, that of a bum, a couch potato, a sloth. I am sure she is just gathering storm and will come back in one big bang that will blow us all away.

There’s nothing else here on my bag of cheap tricks. I would like to extend my congratulations though to someone who bucked the trend and went to that little hotspot (we speak of in hushed tones) all by his lone self just to be with the current flame. You know who you are! (its 3:05pm on my clock and i need to be at work at 9pm...heaven help me...)

Author: Monie Maunay
email: buddygallagher@gmail.com

 

IDOLS

In our lives we tend to run into people that tend to leave a lasting impression on us. We admire them and yes sometimes we even emulate them. They may be fictional or real individuals who have done something we ourselves wish we could have done. We want to make the same impact they made on the lives they have touched. On the top of my list are my parents. My father was the coolest dad any child could ever have. He gave equal measures of love and understanding. I never see him get out of control, always calm and collected. Especially through the rough patches of our lives he has been a constant source of strength. People seek out his counsel. They go to him when they need a sound opinion. They go to him for companionship because he never weighs down on anyone and so he is always good to have around. He has fabulous stories from World War II and his great escape from the Bataan Death March, from his work in the lumber industry, from his younger days as a fisherman and from his adventures while driving, he is a good driver. He has a mean ping-pong hand and he loves basketball.

Then there's mom. The country lass from San Teodoro, Calapan, Oriental Mindoro, she was a crowned princess of the Flores de Mayo on the year she married my father it was 1955. She is also another great story teller and that is because she has lived through so much coming from a family of about a dozen or so siblings. One of my favorite world war two stories she has is when the young ladies in the family had to be hidden and their hair shorn so the Japs won’t see them and claim them for their own. But what I love most about my mom is her eye for beauty. She loves all things beautiful. She has kept our home of seven girls beautiful always. One would not expect high aesthetics from someone unschooled on refinement, for her it’s instinctive. She simply just has good taste in clothes, in home decors, in food. It is great to be under the care of some who loves the good life.

While we have hundreds of people we look up to, I have to say that my life was shaped by the two people who loved me the most. I miss them every day and I try to walk on their shoes always.

Author: Monie Maunay
email: buddygallagher@gmail.com

What It Does to You or Barking Dogs

I've been checking out other people's status messages on various social networking sites. Its something I do when there is absolutely nothing else worth seeing and Im not ready to go offline just yet. Since when has social networking been a haven for anti-social sentiments? There is way too much hatred and anger out there and people are wielding words like swords cutting others off. I am not complaining, I rather find it stimulating reading anger and hatred. But it does nothing else for me. Even if the message was directed at me, ummm yeah it does nothing for me.

Hell if I felt half as bad as those emotions I've read I'd simply do the deed of deleting the subject from my social pages hehe but that's just me and I understand anger all too well. So well that I have taught myself to turn the other cheek, it's the Christian thing to do. I have heard somewhere that the best way to crush an enemy is to befriend them. I lean towards that idea and sometimes when I succeed I feel a sense of triumph because I can keep on hating the enemy in private but they will have stopped seeing me as the enemy.

I wonder how someone feels after they have vented out online. I’d imagine I would feel empty. Maybe there is some satisfaction when others react to the status message and try to make the author feel better. A bigger satisfaction is when the subject of the hate status message would read it and react in kind. Now we’re getting somewhere, an all out conflagration of angry words back and forth. I’ve seen some of these and its thoroughly entertaining I must say. It’s funny-funny to see people let lose like that. I can almost hear readers say “I never knew she had it in her…” hahahahaha

Author: Monie Maunay
email: buddygallagher@gmail.com

Noise

With the way things are going these days we need some reminder to slow down, ease up, lean back and raise our feet on the footstool and take a break from the noise of the real world. In other words not to get our panties in a bunch over stuff. I somehow get the feeling that more and more people are finding it difficult to relax and be comfortable in their own skin. It seems to me that something or someone always manages to get our goat, to steal our thunder one way or another. Suddenly we are stumped and dumbfounded (if they are not the same thing).

Noise is the culprit. That is what it is and it seems to be driving us to and keeping us on the edge. Oftentimes I had to strain to listen to myself think because it is just too damn noisy, life is too noisy. The tasks that needs to be accomplished at work, the bills that need to get paid, the social circles to move around in, the family to dote on. The meal to order in a restaurant, the clothes to wear tomorrow and all the other action thoughts that scurry around in our head. There's also the people that are talking to us, with us, over us, agreeing, dissenting, cutting us off, mouthing words that are not in sync with what is going on in the mind. People wanting explanations for things we know nothing about or offering explanations we did not want to hear in the first place. Just a whole lotta noise, indeed talk is cheap.

I long for a mute button to silence the ruckus, to be able to see the thoughts swimming in my head but not hear them. To be able to drown out the sound of talking heads. I long to sit back with my arms raised and my hands clasped at the back of my neck while barbecued burgers cook on one side of me and a long tall drink sits in a table on the other. Of course I want my mind to be free of all but good thoughts as Dave Matthews plays on the background. “I am no superman, I have no answers for you, I am no hero oh that's for sure…” or “I’m the king of the castle, you’re the dirty rascal, crash into me, please crash into me baby…” 

Author: Monie Maunay
email: buddygallagher@gmail.com

Escapism

How to let on without letting on... Just recently, I managed to merge two different circles in my life, two groups of friends who only know each other through me. (that's vuke and cleanpeople if you really must know). It has been a long time coming, I have been planning and plotting for months to merge these groups. With an entire generation between them who would have thought they can come together over a newly discovered, shared interest. Just thinking of this shared something tickles me pink, because already, the experiences are worthy of an entire novel. (are you smiling with me yet...?)

So the plan was hatched to educate vuke on the 80s and 90s relic that is just about ready to fall of the face of the earth as yet another casualty of electronic commerce. Or at least that is what I thought. Unfortunately, to protect the interest of those who participated in the excursion, I cannot say more about it. Suffice it to say that it was thoroughly satisfying and can be quite addictive. 

Since sharing the experience, most of our skype conversations, live conversations, email messages are punctuated by it. You can't find a topic where the mention of the experience is not appropriate. It has become a method of escapism (or a method to madness...) from the harsh realities of work and life. Our own little zen garden, where we go to recharge or to laugh or to be carefree... to smell the flowers, watch them blossom, feel them, touch their petals, give them a drink...

Lost in Translation

How do you react when someone tells you "you have a body to die for..."??? I find I'm not surprised to find out that there are some who are unfamiliar with the expression. Consider untrained minds who gets to hear this line for the first time. Imagine how they's react.

Here is one real-life, and please lets just call it naive response to the line:

Girl: "You have a body to die for...."
Boy: "Grabe ka naman mang-husga..."
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Author: Monie Maunay
email: buddygallagher@gmail.com

notes from a non-fan

Watching the fifa world cup finals, I'm reminded of why I don't follow it, you wait four years to watch a yawner. I was actually rooting for the dutch just because I dream of living in their country. So I sat through the entire match (because there's nothing else on tv). After two hours of running around, the only thing I got to enjoy were the dramatic moments when players challenged the yellow cards they were given. I also enjoyed the commercial spots. 

The goal that everyone came to see happened in regulation time. The commentators' rap was totally uninspired. The winners' interviews were in spanish and don't get me started on the actual cup, the trophy that was so little, the little phallic trophy that every man on the team wants to get their hands on hahaha. I had the good grace to shout "ayun" when spain finally scored the goal and loved seeing queen Sofia's box rejoice. I guess I only watched to see how big a deal it really is because it seemed to matter a lot to a whole lot of people. I'm not totally lost to the charm, spain's jubilation was infectious, there were just so many happy faces and that's always a good thing.

Author: Monie Maunay
email: buddygallagher@gmail.com

how to love

"You are beautiful, but you are empty. One could not die for you. To be sure, an ordinary passerby would think that my rose looked just like you--the rose that belongs to me. But in herself alone she is more important than all the hundreds of you other roses: because it is she that I have watered; because it is she that I have put under the glass globe; because it is she that I have sheltered behind the screen; because it is for her that I have killed the caterpillars (except the two or three that we saved to become butterflies); because it is she that I have listened to, when she grumbled, or boasted, or even sometimes when she said nothing. Because she is my rose."

"It is only with the heart that one can see; what is essential is invisible to the eye." 

- Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

“I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride; so I love you because I know no other way.” 

- Pablo Neruda

Author: Monie Maunay
email: buddygallagher@gmail.com

the utter drama and the exquisite pain

got a message from someone today warning me off posting anything on their wall here in fb because the partner gained access and is monitoring the page (not that i wrote anything there in the first place)...but what a laugh. to be under someone's thumb that way. i guess some are built to be victims and i cant help thinking they enjoy playing the role to the hilt. its not even melodramatic. for me its downright mental. but hey, whatever floats your boat is what i always say. the most dramatic I've ever gotten is giving grunts for answers when someone i don't like is talking to me. 

now back to our little spot under the sun, i have to say i love my little sweet corner in the new work space, i have the huge glass windows behind me and the ac unit over my head. i have a pretty good view of the whole room and enough distance to ignore everybody else. i have accomplished much in the 5 days ive been sitting there than in months and months of being in the thick of everyone else, it doesnt get more zen than this and it has stopped feeling like im fighting in a full contact sport anymore.

cant say the same for our androgynous trainer though, i'd say she's smack dab in the 9th circle of hell with all the work coming her way, but thats alright cuz she's getting a whole lot of loving from a country boy who wants to get it on with her haha.

we've been having a string of health problems in this little spot of late, there's a bleeding cervix, blood in the stool, lump in the breast, monster migraines, its not looking so good by a damn sight. and there are freak accidents like the one our pretty pregnant princess had, she tripped in a vehicle and fell then in another incident she passed out in a convenience store.

nature also weighed in with two nasty typhoons and some earthquakes in other parts of the earth thats enough for another round of doomsday conspiracies, from global warming to the mayan calendar that ends in dec 12, 2010. in a sense i guess we all got a little victim factor within us, we love selling the drama and reveling in the exquisite pain. i am quite comfortable in the notion that the good lord knew even before we were born, when he's going to take us back home...

Author: Monie Maunay
email: buddygallagher@gmail.com

always keep a little prayer in your pocket

I'm sharing with you the shortest prayer i know, this is everything i ever want to be in my life you will never want for material things, but i think you can always use a little prayer in your pocket oftentimes in life we set our sights too high or too low to find our answers when we need only to look inside ourselves in the purest most spiritual place that we had forgotten we have always had mind you, i'm not religious but i'm very spiritual!

Lord make me an instrument of your peace,

Where there is hatred let me sow love.

Where there is injury, pardon.

Where there is doubt, faith.

Where there is despair, hope.

Where there is darkness, light.

And where there is sadness, joy.

O divine master grant that I may

not so much seek to be consoled as to console;

to be understood as to understand;

To be loved as to love

For it is in giving that we receive-

it is in pardoning that we are pardoned.

And it's in dying that we are born to eternal life.

Amen

Author: Monie Maunay
email: buddygallagher@gmail.com

keeping my feet on the ground

when seeking my bearings i turn to words, not my own though, but those of the wise, the thinkers, the life scholars whose work is to watch humanity and interpret their lives. these string of words restore my faith in men. always I am left with a good feeling about people, about my general situation, about the world. it gives me a feeling of being back home where love is abundant and life is rich. i find it ironic though that often, human wisdom seems to spring mostly from human tragedy. but thats the way it has always been. after the hurting comes the learning.this is the reason why im drawn to maxims, quotes if you may, a collection of words that are so wise it can change ones world view. 

im sure you have those moments, when you read a quote or hear a line in a movie or a song or a poem and you are totally knocked off because it totally resonates through your beliefs, your thinking and your conventions, it strikes a chord in you so to speak.

this has happened to me over a million times, when a string of words strikes a chord in me so strongly that it stays with me for life. one such quote comes from the movie - my best friend's wedding - in the scene when julia roberts, after realizing she has totally mucked up the wedding was chanced upon by the hotel bellboy smoking in the hallway. the bellboy stops and takes a drag from julias cigarette and said something like - for whatever youre going through, my grandma always said; THIS TOO SHALL PASS... - everytime i find myself in a less than savory situation, i always tell myself this. it too shall pass, then i am able to see beyond the bad patch and into the time when the situation will have already passed. 

another one of my great movie moments was from schindlers list, the part when the war is over and schindler had to flee because he would be hunted. after being presented by his Jews with a ring, he broke down and said the ring would have bought him three more jews to save. because he would use his riches to purchase jews to work in his factory and ultimately to save their lives. it was from this scene where the tag line for the movie was taken, the tag line is actually a verse from the Talmud, a collection of rabbinic verses about life, that goes something like, if you save one life, you save the world entire.

finally, there is a line from a stevie Wonder song that has blown me away, and if you can name the song, i will give you a big hug or a loud kiss hahaha, here goes...

"But I believe that love can save tomorrow

I believe the truth can make us free

Someone tried to say it, but we nailed Him to a cross..."

Here are other quotes from the Talmud that keeps me grounded and though some of these are outright weird or funny, they still ring true somehow...

* Whoever destroys a soul, it is considered as if he destroyed an entire world. And whoever saves a life, it is considered as if he saved an entire world.

* If I am not for myself, then who will be for me? And if I am only for myself, then what am I? And if not now, when?

* Repent one day before your death. 

* Say little and do much. 

* Make a teacher for yourself, acquire for yourself a friend, and judge every man to the side of merit. 

* In a place where there are no men, strive to be a man. 

* Let your home be a meeting place for the wise; dust yourself in the soil of their feet, and drink thirstily of their words. 

* Make that His will should be your will, so that He should make your will to be as His will. Nullify your will before His will, so that He should nullify the will of others before your will. 

* The honor of your fellow should be as precious to you as your own, and do not be easy to anger. 

* An evil eye, the evil inclination, and the hatred of one's fellows, drive a person from the world. 

* The day is short, the work is much, the workers are lazy, the reward is great, and the Master is pressing. He would also say: It is not incumbent upon you to finish the task, but neither are you free to absolve yourself from it. 

* One who increases flesh, increases worms; one who increases possessions, increases worry; one who increases wives, increases witchcraft; one who increases maidservants, increases promiscuity; one who increases man-servants, increases thievery; one who increases Torah, increases life; one who increases study, increases wisdom; one who increases counsel, increases understanding; one who increases charity, increases peace. One who acquires a good name, acquired it for himself; one who acquires the words of Torah, has acquired life in the World to Come. 

Blessed be!

Author: Monie Maunay
email: buddygallagher@gmail.com

better things by massive attack and tracy thorn of everything but the girl

Dont drag me down

Just because youre down

And just cause youre blue

Dont make me too

Although youve found

Beauty more than me

Dont talk to me

About being free

Thats freedom without love

And magic without love

Magic without love

Hear me say - better things would surely come my way

Hear me say - better things wouldl surely come my way

You say the magics gone

Well Im not a magician

You say the sparks gone

Well get an electrician

And save your line about needing to be free

Ah, thats bullshit babe

You just wont let it be

Author: Monie Maunay
email: buddygallagher@gmail.com

Prelude to Drama Queens

oh how we do get involved in our own personal motion pictures. if we had our way we would all be writing our own "The world according to ..." -- and share all that we are to anyone who would care to watch, to listen, to read.i believe that a good reason why we always seek any and all forms of attachment is because we want to watch ourselves projected on those we are attached to.

Unless one has weak or defective mind, pretty much everything that happens to us has been allowed by us.when youve piled up the years you start to ask - would I have done it differently? - but then that is the crux of hindsight, there are just some things that cant be undone, no matter what. so lets thank our lucky stars for the things we are able to change. 

for days now my finger has been itching to write something down, anything. but inspiration eludes me. so my usual 90+ score in hubpages has dwindled down to 86 or 84 i forget. i have been struggling with a certain sort of restlessness that I just couldnt put my finger on. plus theres the problem of my computer keyboard that has stopped typing the letter double-u, the apostrophe and double quote, the left and down keys. and dont ask me to explain where i get my double-u!

ive been tinkering with the subject of drama queens or rather the drama queens in each of us. i wanted to try the idea out on my circle of friends first. the challenge is in depicting the drama queens in their full glory without giving their identities away. just considering it gives leaves me partially blind with headaches.i could write an entire novel on our walks on the wild side, our slight in-fightings, our cloak-and-dagger affairs, the sordid details, the glorious triumphs, the side-channels and back-channels of communication.but i couldnt because id give too much away.

so ill just talk about our collective source of fun and scorn. our favorite people! like for instance the new best dressed candidate who will give the original best dressed a run for her money, or maybe our duty free characters who seem to be growing in number (heaven help us) hahaha. or even our favorite sisterhood of evil mutants! (hahaha what a wicked name for a group!). i bet ive lost ellen on the best dressed bit! dont get me wrong, i dont hate them, for how can you hate the source of your fun and who do you poke your fun at if theyre not there right? 

so best dressed femme-femme (bdff) is now a rising star, she can give carmen and phee-n-bee a decent race as she shimmied and sashayed her wares to all of adams children. i bet shes a big hit owing to the very low priced-goods she is peddling. however, it is quite noticable that she only wants to cater to a very particular group of clientele. I wonder if she is aware though of the secrets of this group, who like the swine flu is spreading a virus called duty free (an affliction paris will never catch). i wont be surprised if bdff joins-up with the sisterhood. all the signs are there as they all appear to be trudging at the bottom steps of the very steep ladder of high-class society ill-equipped and even worse, ill-dressed. they probably missed the fact that you cannot climb the ladder without an invite and there is just no one there to extend them the courtesy.

so you see my dearies, their lives are all inter-twined in a rather cheap thread. so with my upturned nose im applauding in the sidelines, admiring the sheer talent and persistence these mere mortals have displayed. 

all these cryptic stories are making me sleepy. at the moment as i write this bitchy piece, i am feasting my sights on a photo i snagged online of someone i would very much like to stare at for hours on end, which of course I cannot do in the real world lest i look deranged (not a pretty sight that).

i am only mildly satisfied that i have led my friends on a merry chase, i anticipate the clarificatory queries in the morrow. - (in the morrow - how old english is that?). i am greatly satisfied though that i was able to piece together in the written word, an almost coherent train of thought. thank the lord for small mercies... love you all! tata!

What Are You Doing The Rest of Your Life?

"What Are You Doing the Rest of Your Life?" is a song with lyrics written by Alan Bergman and Marilyn Bergman and original music written by Michel Legrand for the 1969 film The Happy Ending and was nominated for an Academy Award for Best Original Song... Someone told me this is the best song for a marriage proposal hehehe... ellen! sing with me!!!

What are you doing the rest of your life?

North and south and east and west of your life?

I have only one request of your life

That you spend it all with me.

All the seasons and the times of your days.

All the nickels and the dimes of your days.

Let the reasons and the rhymes of your days.

All begin and end with me.

I want to see your face,

In every kind of light,

In fields of gold and

Forests of the night;

And when you stand before

The candles on a cake.

Oh let me be the one to hear

The silent wish you make.

Those tomorrows waiting deep in your eyes

In the world of love you keep in your eyes,

Ill awaken whats asleep in your eyes,

It may take a kiss or two..

Through all of my life..

Summer, winter, spring and fall of my life,

All I ever will recall of my life

Is all of my life with you.

Author: Monie Maunay
email: buddygallagher@gmail.com

off the top of my coconut...

for the longest time me and my girls (for we are all girls regardless of gender and sexual preference hahaha) have been thinking of compiling all the filipino gay words we have been using or we might have heard. i say just write it down already and just keep adding to it if some words have been missed, so here goes:

- AKETCH/AKESH: ako "Samanhan mo naman aketch/akesh later-vu?"
- ANIK ANIK: anu-ano "Bibili ako ng kung anik-anik sa mall..."
- ANDA, ANDALU, ANDALUCIA: money honey "Naku di ko keri today ala ako anda/andalu andalucia..."
- ANDITECH: nandito "Anditech na ang mga lola..."
- ANETCH: ano "Anetch ba problema mo?"
- BAMBI ARAMBULO: mabaho "Bambi arambulo ng fudam na ito..."
- BANGE/BANGERS/BANGENGE: lasing "Bangenge na mga hitad, e tig-iisang bote lang ininom!"
- BET/BETCHA BY GOLLY WOW: type "Bet mo ba sha, e di iyo na!"
- BECKY: bakla "Feeling ko becky yang julalaks na yan..."
- BONGGACIOUS: bonga "Bonggacious and birthday ng lola mo..."
- BOKOT/BOKOTCHINA: takot "Yoko manuood ng T2 bokot/bokotchina ako..."
- BAGOTA, COLOMBIA: inip na "Haay bagota, colombia na talaga ko..."
- BORLOG: tulog "kelangan ko na bumorlog, baka pumanget aketch"
- CABSUNG: cab "Nasa cabsung na ko..."
- CAREER/KINA-CAREER: dinidibdib or siniseryoso "Carrer-in ba talaga ang pag f-facebook?"
- CHAKA/CHUCKY DREYFUSS: pangit "Chaka naman nyan..."
- CHIKA: tsismis or biro lang or it could really be a lot of things "Chika lang ha..."
- CHUVA, CHORVA: is actually a filler, like what's the word? "Yung chorva ni chuva..."
- CHUK CHAK CHENES: a longer filler "Wala ako paki sa mga chuk chak chenes ng babaeng yan..."
- CHENERVAM: yet another filler... "Narinig mo na ba ung chenervam ke chenes?..."
- CHIZMAX: chismis "Chaka ng chizmax na yan ha..."
- CLOSETA/CLOSETINA: nagpapanggap na lalaki "Closetina yan im sure..."
- CRAYOLA: umiyak "Kuma-crayola ang lola mo..."
- KERI: now this varies, it can be kaya as in "Keri ko yan..." or its ok as in "Keri lang yan", it even goes with the tenses as in kineri, kine-keri, kekerihin...
- DA HU?: sino "Da hu itech becking itetch na may maitim na buto daw..."
- DATUNG: pera din "Ala na ko datung" or "Ala na ko kadatungan!"
- DITECH: dito "Ditech na kayo kumaen..."
- DUTY FREE: maliit (cuz it sounds like jutay) "Balita ko duty free daw yung anetch ni chorva"
- DAKOTA/DAKOTA FANNING: malaki (sounds like dako) "Balita ko dakota fanning daw yung anetch ni chorva!"
- DEAD MA: don't care, don't give a hoot's ass, don't mind. "Pag-dating nya deadma lang tayo ha, parang walang nangyari..."
- DEDO: yari "Naku dedo tayo pag nalaman nya..."
- ETCHOS: kasinungalingan "Puro etchos lang alam nyan..."
- EKLAVER: filler din "Ala na ko eklaver friend..."
- FEMFEM: female genitalia and I dare not use that in a sentence here
- FLOPTSINA: flop "Flotsina ang
- FUNDA/FOUNDATION DAY: foundation as in the make-up, here's one for chammieler..."Mother di ka
naman galit sa funda nyan...?"
- FUDRA: father "Ano sabi ng fudra mo nung nalamang becky ka?"
- GL: ganda lang "Magkano binayad mo sa kanya? " GL..."
- GETLAK: kunin "Di ko ma-getlak ang gamit ko sa locker nya..."
- GETS/GETLAK ulit: naintindihan "Gets mo ba sinabi ko...?"
- HANASHI: kwento "Daming hanashi ng babaeng yan..."
- HITAD: babae, sometimes in a hateful tone "Aba ang hitad na to, at may gana pang magalit!"
- HONDA: on the dot "Hohonda ko today ha, may lakad aketch"
- ITECH: ito "Ano itech?"
- JAJA: gaga "Jaja ka pale eh..."
- JAGUAR: guard "Baka mahuli ka ng jaguar jan"
- JUN POLISTICO: Pulis "May jun polistico! takbo!!!"
- JACKIE LOU BLANCO: impromptu exercise "Napa-jackie lou blanco ko ng di oras..."
- JULALAKS: lalake "Daming julalaks ditech..."
- JUNAKIS: anak "Alagaan mo na lang mga junakis mo kesa gumimik ka..."
- MAHOGANY: mabaho "Oh its so mahogany here..."
- MALAY-BALAY, BUKIDNON: malay ko, an answer to a question: "Sino daw?", "Malay-balay, bukidnon"
- MALAYSIA AT PAKISTAN: malay ko at pakialam ko. "San sha?", "malaysia at pakistan!"
- MAKYOHO: mabaho "Makyoho pala dito..."
- MASHOMBELS: matanda "Yoko jan, mashombels na yan..."
- MUDRA: mother "Ganda naman ng mudra mo..."
- OKRAY/OKRAYIN/OKRAYAN: pintas or gay wars! "Okrayin natin ang hitad na yan!"
- OTOKO: lalake "Gwapo mga otoko jan..."
- PAMHIN/PAMINTANG DUROG: nagpapanggap na lalaki din "Pamintang durog daw sha..."
- SMELLANY MARQUEZ: mabaho "Smellany marquez? is that you?"
- SHUCAB: cab "Nasa shucab na ko..."
- SILAM: nagpapanggap ding lalaki "Silam sha!"
- TIVOLI/TUNGGRIL/TIVOLI THUNDERDOME: tibo "Meron nang bar na pang-tunggril lang..."
- TOM JONES: gutom "Tom Jones na watashi..."
- THUNDERKATS: matanda "Thunderkats na jowa nya noh?"
- WATASHI: ako in japanese "Walang kasalanan watashi..."
- WARLA: baliw "Nakaka-warla naman ang mga pangyayari..."
- WALKATHON: maglakad "Walkaton ang labanan kanina sa mall..."

additional:
HIPON: chakang sexy or macho, hipon kasi tapon ulo
LAYOGENIC: gwapo/maganda sa malayo
TALIKOGENIC: gwapo/maganda pag nakatalikod
HERORA QUENSLER: hair/buhok
CARMEN RONDA: guard din kasi rumo-ronda
RAMPA/RAMPAGE: gala or maglakad-lakad
SHO-E/JEBS: bowel movement ahahahahaha
JT SHORT FOR JUTANG: hiram pera
KROLLYBASH: volleyball, dont ask me why
YOKA: yosi kadiri, to smoke
SUBA: yosi din
KUMEMBOT: pumunta
TUMAMBLING: nagulat
48 YEARS: matagal
ERMENGARD: guard din. "ay mahirap itakas ang fudams kase may ermengard!"
BOOKING: date, meet-up which could be "something fishy"/friendly. hehehe.
KK: the "act" of getting it on! (i bet y'know what I mean!)
PAGODA/ PAGODA TRAGEDY: dead tired!
HAGGARDO VERSOZA: f*cking tired!
SAPSAP - grupo ng chakang julakis
CHOP SUEY - magbabarkadang may halong cute at chaka
TUBOL - julakis na pinagkaitan ng tadhana; pandak na majubis

if you recognize half of these, then you're gay or you're on your way hehehe

Author: Monie Maunay
email: buddygallagher@gmail.com

The Wonderful World of Weasels

I was browsing through my new favorite site the Urban Dictionary when I came across a word that pretty much describes the type of people we all love to hate, here let me share it with you:

1. weasel 

shifty, schemeing person that will do whatever they need to to escape whatever they fear in the moment

2. Weasel 

A cunning, sneaky person. On internet forums they are often a liar, fake or poser. Will try to extract information from you to share with others and / or use it against you. Uses shiftiness to evade an obligation, commitment or duty. They will make promises then renege on them. 'Weasel' is very often followed by 'out' as in 'weasel out'.

"Watch her try to weasel out of that one."

I always pride myself in being a good judge of character, even when I was younger, I just have the knack for calling a spade a spade. I don't know where I got it, I just know that I have it so live with that! In this little spot of ours under the sun, I'd like to think my opinions matter somewhat in some quarters. I think one of my talents is drawing people out, encouraging them that showing their true colors is the only way to live. 

So I guess my monumental dislike for the captioned word above is my biggest contribution to the aim of keeping it real. The adjectives scheming, cunning, shifty always inspire anger in me. I've witnessed some major weasels in my life and always they've succeeded in leaving a bad taste in my mouth. We all play our lives out like a movie where we play the leading role. In this movie, the whole world revolves around us. But in the outside we try to blend in, we live in a community after all so we have to conform. 

The weasels on the other hand tend to blur the lines that separate fantasy from reality. Their own little movie tends to overflow to the outside world. These weasels have deluded themselves to the belief that the world owes them a favor and that everyone else should do their bidding. They spend half their waking lives making sure that they are felt in the most obnoxious of ways. They will impose themselves no end. They will make a big show of how important they are or how important they feel should be. When things don't go their way, they bawl like babies. They freak out and call attention to their poor selves. 

They somehow feel that they should get more than what an equal is getting. When you entrust them with something, you can be sure they will cheat and they will never to the real work. Try to ride in good people's coattails and claim the successes of others as their own with so much smugness you'd puke. A favorite hobby of weasels is highlighting other people's failures and shortcomings to make them look and feel better. Another is passing the buck and protesting innocence in any and all of the mess they've created. 

I could go on and on but I'm pretty sure you get my drift. I want to grab these people by the shoulders and shake them out of their stupor and say "Wake up and smell the shit you've shat!" hahaha ... Two quick fixes for these types: hardwork and humility in huge doses! 

Author: Monie Maunay
email: buddygallagher@gmail.com